Sunday, March 29, 2009

Week 15

First, thanks to all of you for your prayers, emails, cards, donations, gifts, etc. in regards to Brad's mom. Everything went very smoothly, and Brad is doing as well as can be expected. He handled everything so well, and made every decision by asking himself "What would mom want?" Right now there is more relief that Carolyn is finally at peace; hopefully with her husband, able to walk and see, and greeting all of those who went before her and looking over all of us she left behind. She suffered greatly in her final days, and none of us wanted that. We are grateful for all who attended the visitation and funeral, and I want to thank my Grimm family for all that they did - including sending a family "representative" - and for their wonderful words and support. I did finally meet Brad's brother for the first time, and my niece and nephew...who are 3-1/2 year old twins and absolutely adorable. I also had the opportunity to meet additional members of Brad's family, and finally went to the tavern his parents owned back in the 80's for the first time.

The last few weeks have been anything but normal. It's now been 15 weeks since my surgery, and the big question I'm asked after "How is Brad doing?" is how am I doing. With all of the driving, flying, hotel stays, pulling/lifting luggage and physical activity, I held up pretty well. If this had all happened before my surgery in December, I wouldn't have lasted a day. While I was sore, stiff and ready to go home near the end, I survived ok. I'm still sore and worse off than I was before all of this, but I've had much worse days. I was happy with my abilities these last couple of weeks.

I had to postpone my physical therapy by two weeks, so I had my first session last Friday. Though I was there an hour, it was mostly just an assessment, discussion of what I would like to accomplish, and an introduction to the staff. There are only a few individuals there, but they are seasoned professionals. The place I went to back in 2005 was mostly filled with students-in-training, and that was a mess. Though this place does not have before/after work hours, these people know what they are doing and the facilities are great. It sounds like I will mostly be working with the owner, and I'm looking forward to really getting into things.

This has been a most unusual year and month. I have follow-up appointments with my hand surgeon and spine surgeon, but plan on pushing them back a few weeks given what has transpired. I would like a chance to see how I handle PT before I have follow-up appointments, especially with my spine surgeon. Driving to Maryland and back is time consuming and costs money, and I want to make sure I can get the most benefit from the trip as possible. I also need to reschedule my appointment with my primary care physician, as I need to see where my counts are at. I've been feeling very tired lately (more than usual and beyond my control), and I'm wondering if my thyroid is low.

So what's in store for us now? I think the biggest thing is just trying to get back into a normal life. We're both behind in our jobs, and Brad has a bit of catching up to do in his classes. We need to get back into a regular schedule; I need to work on getting healthier and feeling better, and we'd like to start some home remodeling projects that have been on our mind for some time. We need to save some money; the last few months have been expensive. We'd like to go on some mini-vacations over the summer, including going to Cape Cod to see my brother as he is doing lighting design for several theatre productions there over the summer. I think overall we just hope for some reasonably peaceful months ahead. Just a little break from everything, time to mentally adjust to all of the changes, and most importantly...quality time with each other and those we care most about.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Week 13

This one will be brief. I noticed a big change last week in regards to pain levels dropping drastically. This week has been fairly stable. I notice more pain when there are drastic weather changes (which there have been several), but still a positive difference. I'm taking about 1/4 to 1/3 of the medications I was taking two weeks ago, so to me that's a telltale sign.

Brad and I are leaving for Iowa to see his mom after work today. We'll be spending the night in La Salle/Peru, IL, and then should be able to be in Adair around noon-1pm on Friday. The plan is that we will head home on Sunday, unless it looks like Brad should stay. In that case I'll fly back home Sunday, as I unfortunately need to be at work Monday unless circumstances are very critical. I'm glad to be able to go with Brad and to see my mother-in-law, but it will also be a big test in terms of how I physically handle the travel. I think I'll do fine, and am grateful that I have had a relatively quick recovery (compared to other fusion patients), so I will not complain. My main concern is for Brad and his mom, and trying to do anything I can to provide support.

I will try to post info on how Brad's mom is doing from the road depending on time/connectivity availability.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Week 12

First, a quick update on Brad's mom. While she seems to have good days and bad, her memory and concentration seems to be going. She is very tired, but not getting much sleep. She says she still feels good, but it's harder to have a conversation with her. Brad's sister is doing a great job keeping in touch with hospice to monitor her condition, and Brad will travel to be with her when it appears the end is near; I'm hoping I will be able to go along as well.

In terms of my condition, I made some progress this week. I met, for the first time, the chief medical officer at the clinic my dad works at. He is a hand surgeon, and offered to see me given the amount of pain I've been suffering with over the last month and a half with in my hands and arms. This visit was of special importance, as the surgeon has offered advice and support to me through my father over the last several years, so it was a pleasure to finally meet him in person. It turns out he suffered from an "undiagnosable" disease in his 20's when he was starting med school, and while he eventually was diagnosed he told me he had a special place in his heart for me as he knows what I've been going through. It's the first person I've met that could relate to me, and while I would never wish for anyone to go through what I've been through, it created an instant understanding and bond.

They did x-rays of my hands and wrists, and to my amazement there was no bone damage. Considering there is joint degeneration in my knees and ankles, I was happily surprised. The doctor did a quick examination and determined that I was probably suffering from carpal tunnel. I was diagnosed with this in 1998; mild in my left hand, moderate in my right. I had a few injections, but the last one was back in 2003. I really hadn't suffered from any pain since that time, but with all of the time I spent glued to my laptop in December and January it likely pushed me over the edge. I was given an injection in each hand along with splints. While my fingers are still a bit numb, the pain is 98% gone. I will follow up with the surgeon at the end of the month. If the pain has returned then he will recommend surgery, which is really a minor procedure compared to everything else I've been through. If I'm still doing well and not experiencing pain, then we'll hold off on the surgery until the symptoms flare up again.

The hand surgeon was also kind enough to recommend two other items. First, he suggested that I approach my primary care physician regarding thyroid medicine. While my numbers have always been on the "normal" side, he said with everything I've been through my number should ideally be on the high side of normal. Last time it was checked it was on the lower-to-mid side. He thought medication might help make me feel a bit better. He also gave me the name of a physical therapist who takes unusual cases and provides some unusual treatments such as underwater treadmill therapy. Considering the enormous toll my condition has taken on my body in three years, I'm very excited about this opportunity and hope to be able to schedule an appointment soon. I have clearance to begin therapy for my back, but I'm actually more concerned in rebuilding my legs, which I think have been the most effected from all of this.

I'm seeing my primary care physician next Friday; I'd like to have blood work completed again to see where my numbers are. Also, since the IVC filter was removed, I've been noticing that when I come home from work my ankles are very swollen. Usually 30 minutes with my feet up in the lounge chair solves that problem, but obviously want to make sure there is no blood clot or other serious issue popping up.

With my hand/arm pain now gone, I've drastically reduced my medications this week. I'm mostly taking just normal Aleve for pain. My low back has been aching a little bit the last two days, but it's minor. I've been waking up in the morning with dizziness and some morning sickness over the last couple of weeks, but I went through a similar thing when I was getting treated for Lyme back in 1992. It makes it difficult to want to get out of bed and start the day, but I'm managing. And for the record, no, not pregnant! I suspect I'm just dealing with a lot of changes in my system. We'll see what the blood work shows.

So that is where I stand now. I'm hoping to get caught up on some correspondence over the weekend, as I had really stopped cold-turkey with emails and calls. As always, I use what little physical capabilities I have towards my job, and everything else suffers. Have to pay the bills, and given the economy I feel grateful to have a job with relative stability. I certainly have to do everything I can to hold on to that, though I hate that I give up so much on a personal level. Hopefully I will soon be able to find a better balance in life.

This has been a long post, but this should give you all a clear picture of where I'm at now. I'll still continue to post weekly, though I'm looking forward to the day where I can say "I'm done with this chapter of my life, and here is my last blog entry." That would certainly be a day of celebration for me. Thank you all who sent Brad and I anniversary cards this week; we enjoyed them all. Given everything going on we did not do much to celebrate other than a nice dinner on Saturday (Brad had class on Monday), but we made a promise to go away somewhere for a vacation when things have settled a few months from now.

I hope all of you out there are doing well, are happy and healthy, and enjoying life to the fullest.