5 months, 4 days

Five months ago today I was back at my hotel after a four day stay in the hospital. I had a back brace, a walker, and drove Brad and my mom crazy in trying to get a hotel room chair fitted just right so I could sit in it comfortably (it took six pillows). I had over 50 staples in me (front and back), and was just starting to eat food again.

I can't complain. No more back brace, no walker. The incisions have healed nicely. I still have trouble getting comfortable, but I only need two pillows these days instead of six. The best part is that I can do it on my own. Again, I can't complain.

As this is a journal for me to track my progress and to refer to as I visit future doctors - and there will be more visits - I will state that I am still in pain. A lot of pain, mostly in my legs from my hips to my toes. I'm having difficulty walking, and tend to shuffle and limp about. Sleeping is getting more difficult again, and the numbness in my hands and arms is returning. But you know what? Life goes on. I'm keeping busy with work and trying to do as much normal stuff as possible. I know it's not "normal" for most people, but it's the closest I can be to it right now for me. I'm forced to wait on more physician visits, more tests, more results. Until then my plan is to just keep going along. I may struggle to walk across a room, and I may not be able to do a lot normal activities that others can, but I'm here. I don't think I have a life threatening disease, so who am I to complain? It certainly doesn't do any good to do so, so why bother?

So today I choose to look at the progress I have made. Many have had similar surgeries and were still home bound at this point. I was working from my hospital bed right after my surgery. I was back at work part time in a month, and drove to Baltimore - a 6-1/2 hour trip - in less than two months after the surgery. The bone has grown in where it needs to, I have good mobility in my spine, and now that I don't have physical therapy messing me up my back is feeling great. And most importantly, I survived a surgery that was considered unbelievably high-risk; honestly, very few of you know the dangers that were involved and how often I was told that I could easily die on the table or in the days following. Fusions are not as dangerous, but taking that artificial disc out was. I feel indescribably lucky to be here.

So, all in all, not a bad five months. I think it's better to look at progress in the long term vs. short term. It's harder to see progress week by week. Today I needed to take a look at the bigger picture - my "five month" picture. And while it's nowhere near perfect, it's not bad either.