Day Fourteen

Today the pain got the best of me. Had a lot of trouble sleeping, and even more trouble getting comfortable today. I didn't really sleep at all during the day either, so I'm hoping to go to bed after I'm done with this and hopefully get a few hours of sleep in.

It was a very unproductive day, which is frustrating. My mind wants to do things, but the pain makes it difficult to focus. The biggest thing I did today was update my "story" on an online message board/information center regarding artificial discs. People who have had the procedure or who are looking to have it done usually find themselves there; I've been a member since February 2005. There are a lot of active discussions, and people are encouraged to share information so others may find benefit from it. Given the rarity of my situation, I have been doing my best to keep people up-to-date on my story. If even one person out there is suffering from similar symptoms, maybe my story/path can help them find a solution to their problem. I had not updated my status since before the surgery, so I had a lot to share.

The reaction on the message board has been amazement and shock, as no one realized that an implant reaction was possible. I found this interesting, since it is listed on all artificial disc literature as a potential danger. Even I knew that going in, and asked my surgeon about it. The surgeon blew it off, stating it was just a legal thing and there was no such thing as an implant allergy. I put my trust in the surgeon and dropped the subject, though obviously regret it now. Though there are people on these message boards who have success stories, there are more failures than anything. It reminds you that you are not alone, but also makes me angry that so many of us were mislead down this artificial disc replacement path when information is now coming out that trial results were falsified and other information was withheld. It pains me to know how many other people are suffering out there, and I hope that once things heal I can use what I've been through for some sort of good/purpose.

Tomorrow I meet with my home health nurse and also my case manager so I can be discharged. I can't believe that in less than 48 hours I should be back at my comfortable home; I can't wait!