Week 11 (almost 12)

Good news and bad news. I'll start with the bad first.

The Bad
I'm now certain that the arm/hand pain I've been really struggling with over the past month is unrelated to the metal issue. The pain continues to worsen, and it's making my life miserable. Basically both arms and hands feel like I have a thousand needles in them, my hands are constantly burning, and I've lost feeling in my fingers. Since I spend most of my day at a keyboard, you can imagine the difficulty there. Sleeping is almost impossible; I spend hours trying to find a comfortable position that reduces the pain to a level where I can actually fall asleep. How I position my neck, shoulders and wrists can effect the pain level. Last night was the first night I got 4-1/2 hours of solid sleep, but it took a lot of time, positioning and medications to get to that point. The last several nights I've not been able to sleep more than 20 minute increments; in terms of sleep, it's worse than before the surgery.

I have reason to believe that the disc I herniated in my neck back in 1992 - though it really hasn't given me problems since 1993/94 - is the cause. I'm going to start with seeing an upper extremities ortho surgeon who my dad has a good relationship with, as he offered to see me on Tuesday. If it's shoulder/arm/hand related, he can diagnose and treat. If not, then I have to make the decision which orthopedic spine surgeon to see. At this point I'm leaning towards the first spine surgeon, for a few reasons. One, he works at the clinic my dad works at so I can maybe get in a little quicker. Second, I'm hoping the treatment can be a cortisone injection; if it is, the pain mgmt physician at that same location is wonderful and I would trust him to do a good job. Though my most recent spine surgeon is my favorite, I feel my current situation would be too "average" for him, and I don't want to waste his time. He has a gift, and that's why he typically only takes difficult patients who need a rare/difficult surgery performed.


The Good
Though the upper extremity pain makes it difficult to think about anything else, I continue to notice positive changes in my back and legs. It's interesting, because it's almost like a transformation. I always felt like something was "eating away" at my bones and muscle. I'm not feeling that so much anymore. However, what I am feeling is almost like the "after-effect." My main leg complain is muscle pain, but it's different than before. In my mind, what I'm experiencing is something that could be taken care of with lots of physical therapy and time. My muscles are damaged, I've had to severely limit my activities over the last couple of years, and between the two my muscles need to be "rebuilt."

So in conclusion, while I feel I'm making some progress I'm still suffering a lot, just in a different way. It certainly would have been better had I not had this arm/hand thing pop up as I think I'd better be able to determine how things are progressing, but my health has not been, and will probably never be, an area where I'm "lucky" or even just normal. I think everyone has a certain part of their life where they struggle - mentally, professionally, relationships, health, etc. I've always been blessed with a wonderful family, a decent brain, a great husband and friends, good jobs...health is my area of struggle. And you know, the fact I have all of those other things going for me has made it possible for me to continue with a somewhat normal life despite the health stuff. I haven't given up yet, and certainly will not be giving up any time soon.

I hope everyone has/had a great weekend.