In a very strange deja vu, I'm back where I was last November. Almost a week away from surgery, a low platelet count, being sent to a hematologist in the Cleveland Clinic system. I tried to get out of the system, and was sent back in today by my non-Cleveland Clinic doctor who "thought it would be best".
I have an appt this Friday with the hematologist that tortured me and acted like a loon when I last saw him. I'm not optimistic. I was hoping for a platelet transfusion but it sounds like, per my primary care, that the hematologist would rather do some IV treatment that would take several weeks to build my platelets. Obviously that would void my Feb. 13 date to remove the metal that is likely (at least I'm hoping) causing all of this.
I'm defeated today. This was not part of the plan. It's tough to be back where you started, go through it all again. Except it's a little worse because I'm still very limited on what I can take for medicines; nothing that helps with inflammation or the pain. I'm exhausted, and between the torturing pain, lack of sleep and having to work a full time schedule it is just too much. To add IV "treatments" to my schedule, and wanting to be there for Brad given everything going on with his mom...I don't know how I will physically and mentally survive if this is extended another month.
I hate to write such a "down" blog, but that's where I'm at today and that's the situation. I don't think anyone is reading this anymore, but for those who are and who tolerated my ramblings today, I appreciate it. I just needed to vent, and for me writing is the best way to do so. It has just not been a good day.
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2 comments:
Oh, Carrie, I'm so sorry you've taken such a bad turn. You need to remain positive, no matter how impossible it must feel. The key to recovery is your mental health. If you believe there is a light, there will be, and if you believe you will succeed you will! Don't give up on yourself. You've come WAY too far to do that. You've been dealing with this for so many years...in perspective, one more month is a very short time span. Have you tried a holistic approach to dealing with the new pain level? I know you've tried it before & it did help out at least a little bit...maybe it's worth another try. Just don't give up! Your rainbow is there...it's just a little tough to see right now!
Someone is reading this thing still? :-) I was in a pretty bad place yesterday. Honestly, with the lack of sleep and trying to stay on top of work has just drained me. Plus the pain is absolutely horrible and at times terrifying, as some of it is a lot different than what I had before. I'm better today...I was better just writing the blog. I'm sorry you had to read my venting!
I've done the holistic thing before, but it stopped working at a certain point. If they take out the filter and I'm still suffering then I'll probably look into it again. In reality though, with some of my blood counts being this off if the metal isn't the cause then there is a serious issue behind it that needs to be taken care of.
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